So you’re slaving yourself away again in the office from Monday to Friday, each day from 7am to 6pm. Then when you get home you get to slave yourself out all over again! You cook and prepare the table. Feed the children. Then you out everyone to bed. When they are all asleep, you can finally get a little rest!
Aren’t you getting tired of this?
Maybe you are… but you may not be ready to call it quits yet.
You are a proud working mother! You work your ass off every day so you can keep your title of “Super Mom”. You are not just some woman who stays at home sitting in front of the TV all day and going out shopping with your husband’s earnings on payday.
Oooops… is that you? Sorry, I do not mean it. It is just sooo true; I cannot help but say it!
You know; whatever you do in your little exciting life, guess what. NOBODY GIVES A CRAP! Believe me! As long as you are taking care of yourself, your children, your family and maybe some estranged cats in the neighborhood, you are already SUPER in whatever you choose to be!
I think all of us have different life circumstances, but I am going to narrow those down and talk about just the moms who choose to be working moms.
Here is a fat big list of reasons why some mothers refused to be stay at home moms. How many of these can you relate to?
1. Work Provides and Identity Beyond “Mom”
You could be the CEO or the Marketing Manager. You are the businessperson. Are you a teacher? Maybe an attorney? You are certainly not just Mrs. Nobody, wife of somebody and mother of three. Make sense?
Being a mother is one of the most rewarding jobs, but let us face it, it can be extremely overwhelming if it is our only one. Working mothers are able to create an alternative identity separate from being just “Mom”. After all, parenthood is filled with menial, repetitive tasks.
You help the kids get dress, and do their laundry. You go grocery shopping, prepare the food, feed the kids, clean all of the dishes and then, they are suddenly hungry again! It can feel endless.
At work, there are also many mundane chores, but you also have the chance to work on tasks with a start and a finish, something you can point to with pride and say, “I did that!” You will get a pat on the back from your co-worker or your boss, because you want to feel like you have accomplished something for a brief moment in time.
Every time I accomplish something great at work, I too get a compliment from my superiors and co-workers, meaning that I will be smiling all day as I talk to my husband.
2. Being a Working Mother Enables You to be a Strong Role Model for Your Children
As a mother of four; three girls, one boy, I am keenly aware that my life choices will my children’s first model of success when they are all grown up and venture out into the world. They may make different choices, but their point of comparison will be the decisions I made about my career and family.
While I hope they understand that family is my top priority, I also like that they get to see me having a professional life that is rewarding and important. It is good for mothers to have a focus other than their own children, they need the room to make mistakes and learn from them without mom always at their side attending to their every need and listening to their endless whines.
I have read that children of working mothers become practical and more intellectual. They can make wise decisions themselves and become independent, confident and more active in their work.
I remember a conversation with my daughter’s classmate mother in music class. She’s a retired high school teacher and now a stay-at-home-mom, so I asked her when she calls it a day, she said; “When I am done sharpening their pencils.”
3. Working Mothers Earn a Pay Check
I am happiest when its payday. I know the money will help feed the children and provide for my family. For some working mothers, the paycheck also provides some for the extras in life, where it is an extra dinner out, a nice vacation or some new extracurricular activities for the kids. Even those in the most loving marriages’ have recognized that earning money puts them on equal footing with their husbands –
Are you still following me here?
4. Working Moms are Respected More by Society
Like it or not, our society runs on money and recognizes its accumulations as proof of accomplishment.
Have you ever bumped into an old friend at the mall? I bet that conversation started something like “Hi! How are you! Where do you work now?”
The moment you admit that you are a stay-at-home-mom you will suddenly feel a moment of awkwardness and realize, it is your turn to ask the question.
She replies, “Oh, I’m great! I’m a VP for Marketing at XYZ Huge Fantastic Company!”
It is not as if she was trying to brag either, she was just answering your question, but for that one short moment, did you feel a little less about yourself?
5. Working Moms are Happy Moms
Recent studies found that non-working women with children at home have been experiencing more worry, sadness, stress and anger than moms who work.
I think the number one reason for this and the most obvious reason too, is that working moms get time away from their children.
If you have ever heard the idiomatic expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? Since working mothers get to spend extra time away from their kids, in turn, both parties will learn to miss and appreciate each other’s company more. You will not experience this when you are always at home, cooking, doing laundry and cleaning up after playtime messes.
Work helps to create a positive emotion for mothers. Working moms are able to interact with supportive grown-ups and that is a great thing for their growth and mental health.
6. Working Moms gain advantages to help Raise Confident and Strong Daughter
I did a lot of digging around on this topic, and here is what I found.
Daughters of working mothers tend to be more self-confident and see their mothers as the smarter parent, a University researcher say,
Traditionally, young children look at mothers as the person to run to for emotional comfort and their fathers as the role model for a strong disciplinary figure,
said Belen Mills, an associate professor of early childhood education at Florida State University.
But with more mothers working outside the home, the perception is changing. It makes the daughters in this situation feel, if my mother can do it, I can do it too. It motivates them to do something with their lives in a positive way.
The boys still tend to exhibit the same responses as usually whereas they see the father as the smarter parent, Mills said. However, the mother with jobs outside the home, also spent more time playing with their daughters and gave them more treats than did mothers who stayed at home, and the daughters more often would go to their mothers for protections,” Mills said.
We think it’s because the daughters of working mothers see their mothers as strong and capable; able to take charge of any situation.
So, do any of these reasons above raise your brow?
Let’s talk about it. Share your comments below. There are no right or wrong comments ladies! 🙂