Are You Feeling Happy Today?

concious happinessAre you happy today?

Today, I choose to write about happiness. I always believe that when we are happy it makes the people around us happy too.

Do you have this feeling that there is this one specific day in your life that you can be impossibly happy because things doesn’t go your way or you simply feel down like shit are everywhere?

Yah?

Let me share with you one of the popular Filipino proverb:

Kung maikli ang kumot matutong mamaluktot.

A few years ago I heard a different version:

Kung maikli ang kumot e di kumuha ng mas mahabang kumot.

Makes sense right?

Come to think of it, e bakit ka nga naman magtitiis sa maikling kumot kung pwede ka naman kumuha ng mas mahabang kumot.

Like happiness, when your day seems cloudy and lifeless go out your way and make it bright and lively.

Get the point?

Of course you will argue and you will tell me boldly that it’s easier said than done.

Well, if that’s what you think. That’s what you think! Keep it and hold on to it tight I’m sure no one will try to take it away from you, but if you are open to hear what works for me and probably might help you too I’m inviting you to continue reading.

Recently, I come to believe that happiness is a choice. Regardless of your situation and your circumstances you can choose to be happy (on the contrary you can choose to be sad or miserable if that what makes you happy. and it’s all up to you).

You get it?

When I wake up sad or lonely or just plain unhappy. I entertain myself (no, not that kind of entertaining). I listen to Britney Spears (yes, I’m a fan), I take pictures, I cook, I blog, I write to God, I looked at random photos in Pinterest, I listen to TED talks. I work on some personal projects that I find interesting (like my brand new project BitcoinNews.ph).  Sometimes, I clean the house… sometimes. This is the point where I consciously make myself happy and I’m making a choice to be happy. If nothing works I sleep all day.

Make a list of things that makes you happy.  If it’s as simple as drinking a 1.5 coke in one sitting or chewing 5 different gums altogether. Do it! We define happiness differently.

If today, I caught you in the state of pure sadness.  Please go ahead and tuck yourself again in bed. The moment you wake up ask yourself a question whether you will choose to be happy or continue to be sad.  The answer is all up to you and regardless which you choose I still hold a high respect for you.  Sabi nga nila…  lilipas din iyan.

Have the most beautiful Monday ladies!

 

xoxo,

Joy

How Visuals Can Help Kids Learn Fast?

learning through visuals

What is your teaching style?

If you ask me, I don’t have anything specific.

But today, I wrote the days of the week in a manila paper and posted it right in the heart of our living room.  I’m completely driven by my friend’s FB post on how she is using visuals to help her kids in school.  I’ve heard about the idea and I have read a couple of articles on how visuals can help you learn fast, not just kids but everyone. I’ve been holding off the significance of manila paper for the sheer pleasure of procrastinating things and my innate katamaran (laziness).

I read that based upon research outcomes, the effective use of visuals can help my kids not just to learn fast but essentially to:

  1. Decrease their learning time

  2. Improve their comprehension

  3. Enhance their retrieval, and

  4. Increase their retention

Pretty amazing right?

So, to kick it off I wrote the days of the week in a manila paper (like what I already mentioned earlier).  I asked Lily to draw something beside the name of the days so she can easily remember it.  She draw a sun beside Sunday, a ball for Wednesday because it’s her PE day and a chef hat for Friday because she told me she wants to cook pancakes every Friday.

According to Haig Kouyoumdjian, Ph.D.

There are countless studies that have confirmed the power of visual imagery in learning. For instance, one study asked students to remember many groups of three words each, such as dog, bike, and street. Students who tried to remember the words by repeating them over and over again did poorly on recall. In comparison, students who made the effort to make visual associations with the three words, such as imagining a dog riding a bike down the street, had significantly better recall.

learning through visual imageryThis is our first manila paper I’ll be writing updates on how it’s helping my Lily and I’ll be posting more manila paper at home.  I promise I’ll take pictures and share it with everyone.

Meanwhile, I want to encourage you to share your teaching style with your kids.  You wouldn’t know who you will inspire, like what happened to me when I saw my friend’s post in Facebook. I’d love to hear from all of you!

Thanks for dropping by ladies.

See yah!

 

xoxo,

Joy

 

Why I Don’t Want to be Ordinary: 2 Reasons Mediocrity is Killing Me

quote marieforleoYou feel it, right?

Mediocrity?

Yes?

You, the plain and simple YOU.

If you frequent my blog and are my regular reader by heart, chances are we share something in common.

It’s…

The urge to be less ordinary. A little less mediocre.

All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.  – Scott Alexander

I am mediocre.

The truth is, I’m addicted to mediocrity. It’s the easy way around. No opinion, no idea to share, no conviction of anything, doesn’t side to any argument. I’m the typical boring person.

But the truth is, it’s killing me.

I remember growing up having big dreams. I remember dreaming of becoming a TV newscaster and an English teacher when I grew up.  In college I thought of starting my own magazine publishing company after I graduated. Heck, I even dreamt of becoming a poet.

But none of those dreams came true, though.

After I graduated from college I worked on mediocre jobs. After a couple of years I became a wife and a mother of four, sitting all day in front of my computer doing a work-at-home mediocre job and wait for my husbands’ pay. I don’t complain; life is good, we all get to eat and can send our children to a good school.

But in all honesty, I am by far an ordinary soul waiting for things to unfold in front of me. How many mothers like me do that? Sit all day and wait? A lot, right? A lot of mediocre souls like me.

It’s easy being plain and simple.

But no matter how mediocre my life is, I just can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t it.

This isn’t the life that is mine; it’s not the life I was built for. 

We’ve all got our own version of mediocrity – what’s yours?

OK, don’t get me wrong. I truly respect those mothers who stay home to mind their household and children.  I know that we all walk in different paths of life and I respect the fact that my version of mediocrity is different from everyone else’s. I’m not setting any standard of mediocrity here. So feel free to share your version of mediocrity and I promise I won’t play judge. :)

My version of mediocrity is to stay at home, work on my mediocre job that brings in a little pay, and do unexciting daily tasks because I have nothing else to do and I’m pretty stuck. The best part is, I’m used to it.

So one day I indulged myself in solitude and realized my reasons why I should unstick myself from being mediocre and start aspiring for greatness. Here are my 2 reasons:

1. I don’t want my children to be mediocre. To be plain Jane or plain Joe. I want them to be the BEST that they can be and the only way I can teach them that is by becoming a good example.  I want them to look back and tell themselves, “My mom was never a loser. My mom fought long and hard to achieve her dreams and never settled for mediocrity.”

2.  I don’t want to deny God’s gift to me. I always think that each of us was born with a gift from God – besides life, of course. He sent us here to perform a special mission for him; he equipped us with talents and skills ready to be called upon if we are persistent enough to hold on our tasks. My favorite web TV host said it best:

“The world needs that special gift that only you have.” —Marie Forleo

I’m 34 and I’m just starting to admit that I’m living a mediocre life.

Well, I’m thankful that I’m not in my 90′s, in my death bed reciting the things I should have done when I’m still capable.  I still have a loooooooong way to go.  In fact just recently I wrote down a bucket list, one that plays closest to my heart is having a school soon and becoming a popular book writer, so popular that it will be translated in many languages so I could reach out to as many as I can.

I feel ambitious.

But who the hell cares?

Hahaha…

***

A couple of weeks ago I attended a John Robert Power Workshop for free through Mommy Bloggers Philippines.

I’m so grateful for the experience. We were taught voice communication, social and business etiquette. The experience was exhilarating, I became really serious about saving money to enroll in their full course in the next quarter. I’m enthralled by the teachers; they are all well-dressed. They walk like true professionals. They speak with grace and elegance. You might think that if you finish the whole course you will be like them: elegant, graceful, resonating control and leadership. It’s one of the many steps forward I’m taking this year to move away from the status quo to become who I really want to be.

It’s one baby step for me.

***

Now it’s your turn…take your first step to greatness. Believe you can, read more than you watch, surround yourself with winners and promise to yourself to be the best that you can be regardless of what other people says about you.  Be brave my friend, you can do it.

Talk soon. :)

 

xoxo,

Joy

Celebrating Mother’s Day

Have you been with a group of people and told yourself;  I belong here.

I’ve been with a group of people and it doesn’t come out as a statement but rather a question.

I belong here?

Just this morning I sat in front of my computer, I looked at my Facebook pictures with some friends and pointed out a specific group of people and I told myself in bold and almost reassuring tone; I belong here.

mother's day

With these ladies, I think that when we get together, we don’t just bring with us a bagful of our life’s grievances to share with one another and become each others judge of who has the most miserable life.  BUT, we carry with us our very own Pandora’s box ready to be opened up for those who wish to see it and regardless how ugly what is inside the box, believe it or not, we appreciate it.

When we get together it’s not another girl talk shebang session.

We get together and open ourselves to each other.

We complain about the difficult people in our lives.

We talk about the inner demons we are presently fighting.

We boast our misfits. (We literary “boast” our misfits to each other, crazy huh?)

But the beauty of it all is not;  “Help me I’m helpless” but “Listen to me, I can get pass through this…”

I had my share.

When I was in my darkest times, they listened and offered comforts. I remember myself saying a prayer back then;

God, thank you for bringing these people in my life when I most needed them…  They are not perfect, actually… most of them seem CRAZYYY (they laugh at the silliest joke, they say the most ridiculous things, they lost their selves when we are all together). Oh gosh, God… they’re EXACTLY like me!

CRAZYYYYYYYYY….

Happy Friday ladies and advance happy mother’s day!

See yah!

 

xoxo,

Joy

8 Signs of Reading Readiness

When my youngest daughter turned 4 in September 2013, I realized she was still not familiar with all the letters in the alphabet. She only recognized the letters L, C, F, I, Y and A.

I read that by age 4 children should identify at least 10 alphabet letters, especially those in their own names. Though she identifies those letters in her own name, she only knows 6 alphabet letters. I know it’s not a big deal; I can teach her four more letters and she’s on track.

IMG_4620

My husband and I are planning on enrolling her to Preparatory on June 2014, and by then she will be 4 years old and 9 months. Just the right age for K12 curriculum, but to get to Preparatory, the school prefers that the child knows how to read. So we thought of finding her a place to learn to read since I know and I admit with all my heart that teaching is not my best trait.

I did more research to find out if Lily, at her age, can be taught to read.

And this is what I found out:

The age at which a child is ready to read can vary dramatically.
Children can start from the age of three years old on up to eleven years old and beyond, but generally reading occurs between the age of four and ten years old.

Check!

The age of readiness or desire to read can be easily determined by paying attention to the clues that children freely provide.

Here are the 8 signs of reading readiness:

1. Your child pretends to read.

Check!  Every time my phone beeps for a text message, she asks me if she could read it and will utter random words pretending to read my text message.

2. Your child maintains phonemic awareness or knows the sounds that letters make.

3. You notice your child takes interest in the environments written words on street signs, cereal boxes, TV, magazines, flyers, books, etc.

Check again!

4. Your child looks at pictures and tells a story or repeats a known story in her own words.

Check! She has this little book she always asks her eldest sister to read to her. One time she was standing at my side while I was doing the dishes and asked me to listen to her read.  It was very impressive because she even know when to turn to the next page.


5. If your child can add the missing word to an incomplete sentence presented orally.

6. If they can define or give the meaning of simple words.

7. If they use left to-right progression.

8. If they can pronounce their own first and last names.

Check, check, check!

She’s READY!

I saw an ad about a reading class in the same building where my two other kids take their music lessons.

Awesome! I immediately went to inquire.

I was greeted by a nice lady who introduced herself as Teacher Ging.

She patiently answered all my questions and addressed all my concerns. She didn’t ask me to enroll my child right away but asked me to think it over with my husband because the commitment of bringing Lily three times a week at school requires a solid yes on our part.

She is amazing. If that was someone else they might have asked me for a down payment because I wasted her time by talking to me.

I’m having a good feeling about the school…

When I got home I told my husband I found a school where Lily can be taught to read. I was ecstatic, and I told him straight away we will enroll Lily there. I told him about the school and my conversation with Teacher Ging; he didn’t say a word and remained listening until I finished my story. ( He can’t control my excitement, he knew I was sold and nothing he would say would convince me otherwise.) When I’m done talking he just said… “OK.”

That’s it! We reached a mutual decision to enroll Lily. :D

It’s been three months since Lily first stepped into The Reading Station (TRS). And let me be the first one to tell you that they are worth every penny.

lily at school

One day I came across a research about the “Best Way to Learn How to Read” (funded by National Institute of Health, updated in 2012).

There are three important aspects of reading.

Part 1: Phonemic awareness, or learning the individual sounds that constitute a language. For example, “buh” as the sound of “b”

Part 2: Phonics, or the letter-sound relationships available in the language

Part 3: Exposure to the meaning of the written word by reading to the child as well as having the child begin to read independently

After 10 hours, Lily passed Part 1. She knows all the sounds of the letters. At 25 hours she could read three-letter words and decode words when she encountered them for the first time. Now she’s into Part 3.

IMG_4705

Her progress is faster than expected. I feel like she’s getting one school year of education in three months.

My husband was very impressed with Lily’s progress; he asked me to enroll Ruben, 5 years old, in their summer program to speed up his reading skills. We were worried that Lily would read better than Ruben after summer and we don’t want Ruben to be left behind.

After only 5 hours, Ruben can read game instructions from an iPad all by himself.

My husband and I were thrilled.

The school has the most loving and patient teachers! They know their craft.  They are passionate about the things they do every day. Regardless how tiresome their day was, you will always be greeted by their most sweet smiles.

IMG_4715 Isn’t it the ideal school you want to get your children into?

IMG_4721

The things they do are just wonderful!

Next time again ladies!

*PS* For those who have been asking about the address and contact number it’s The Reading Station, 6th Flr. Northridge Plaza, Congressional Ave., QC.  0917-7217634 or 412-0200

xoxo,

Joy

Our Adorable Easter Activity

easter egg huntWe had an adorable Easter egg hunt at home!

My husband and I decided to get colorful plastic eggs this year and stuff them with candies and some coins!

We hid sixteen plastic eggs all over the house and the first to find the most eggs get a special prize.

It was fun!  It was so fun that they ask if we can do it again tomorrow.  My husband explained to the small kids that it can only be done once a year, but committed to doing scavenger hunt once a month.  The kids were very delighted by the idea and I was stuck with another list to add to my already long to do list. (Disclaimer:  I’m not complaining, really… I’m actually grateful that another creative and very cool idea was added to my list.)

I’m also including some pictures I took from last year’s Easter Egg painting activity.  I bought a box of egg decorating kit at HMR for P20 and I very surprised that it went a long, long way to make my kids busy and bring out once again their creative side.easter decorating kit This is my two big girls all excited to start painting.

IMG_1560Isa is busy blowing the egg to dry.

IMG_1565Look at our Ruben in full focus writing something on his egg.

IMG_1581Lily as she carefully put stickers on her egg.

IMG_1578 This is the finish product, the one that has MC written on it was made by Elise.  The egg that has stars was made by Slide. The purple or the dark pink, was made by Ruben, he grips the egg so tightly it almost break, see the cracks?  Lily’s egg didn’t make it to the picture, she was so hungry she peeled off its skin and ate it all. :D

We all had a really, really good time!  It was all affordable and memorable too!

What was your kind of Easter celebration?

Share!  I really love to hear it.

Thanks for looking ladies!

Have a blessed Monday!

 

xoxo,

Joy

 

 

 

 

 

Why Grateful Moms are Happy Moms?

happy

They say if you feel that something is frustrating, irritating or maddening, look around you and find something to be grateful for.

(As if it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. Duh!)

 

Let me confess: I’m the type of person that, if there is something that doesn’t feel right, I don’t feel right. If there’s something frustrating or irritating that pops my way, guess what, I get frustrated and irritated. My brain was not trained to do otherwise. I go with the flow. As if I’m some kind of a machine that, given a certain situation, I will do as anticipated.

TooltipText

 

Which makes me more fitting to the famous Filipino saying, “Tao lang.” ~  Minsan hindi lang nag-iisip!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of writing about the subject of “gratefulness.” I’ve been holding off because I thought I need to do more research, I needed to understand and read more about the subject matter, but then today I woke up I told myself I’m slacking off and starting to fall into the old habit of procrastination.

Then, I stumbled on this quote on Facebook.

wish

I quickly decided to start now and just write everything I’ve learned and reflected on as I go. Here’s my first installment.

I learned that happy people are grateful people.

Research shows that gratitude is a powerful force for creating positive changes in individuals, families, and organizations. I read that, grateful people are more energetic, emotionally intelligent, forgiving, and less likely to be depressed, anxious, or lonely.

Looking at myself, I discovered I’m NOT a grateful person. I seldom say thanks to anyone (really).

I re-examined my childhood and thought to myself, maybe because I seldom got anything when growing up, I didn’t exercise the art of saying thanks. Or I just didn’t notice the generous gifts I were receiving since my parents didn’t impose a thank-you habit on me and my siblings.

But why does it feel I’m the only child in the family that expresses less gratitude to people? I hear my sisters express a sincere thank-you even for a little act of kindness bestowed to them from a stranger.

Uhm…

Maybe, just maybe…  it’s not how we were brought up; maybe I’m just the sour and bitter sister in the family that doesn’t know how to say thank you.

Blah!

When you are a parent, all you want to teach your children is to have good manners. One of those manners is being GRATEFUL.  To politely say thank you to whatever type of kindness shown to them. To sincerely mean it and acknowledge the kindness wholeheartedly. I realized if I’m not that kind of parent, there’s little chance of my child becoming a thankful human being growing up.

Whew!

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

And ladies and gentlemen, you know clearly where I always turn to when I have problems I need to solve…

GOOGLE.

The name Shawn Achor came up. He has a TED Talk! I watched it over and over again, giggling over the unicorn story, but more than that, about the idea of writing 3 things you are grateful for for 21 days before going to sleep.

So I tried doing just that. On the first week I had the most difficult time writing my second and third grateful thoughts. Then on my second week, I improved – I only left the third blank. I thought to myself, I’m getting somewhere here… When I got near my 21 days I could complete my 3 thank-you notes before I went to sleep.

journal

I discovered that the reason I was struggling in the past writing my thank-you notes were because I was looking for the big things before I said thank you, I was waiting for something out of the ordinary before I said thank you. When I started writing thanks to even the simplest things that transpired the whole day like the cool breeze I woke up to and the sweet-smelling blankets I would sleep under, even for the elevator man who waited for the door patiently, everything seemed to change. A huge part of me became a little less heavy…

I slowly stopped over reacting when something didn’t turn out right.

I never stopped after the 21 days. Up until now, since October of 2013, I’m still writing my thank-you notes.

You know why?

Because something inside me is changing and I like it.

I think and I feel I’m becoming a better me.  In the past when I woke up, I will think of how I will survive my day.  Now I woke up thinking what good things will happen today that I could feel grateful for and write on my thank-you journal.

Amazing right?

Ako na!

Next to Steven Covey, I grew to love Shawn Achor. My first Kindle purchase was his book Before Happiness: The 5 Hidden Keys to Achieving Success, Spreading Happiness, and Sustaining Positive Change. I also bought my children his book Riffle’s Effects.

If you have time go pick up his book.  You will like Shawn Achor too.  :)

Thank you for reading ladies!  I would like to hear your side of this matter. Comment below!

xoxo,

Joy

 

6 Reasons Why Mothers Get a Career

love

So you’re slaving yourself away again in the office from Monday to Friday, each day from 7am to 6pm. Then when you get home you get to slave yourself out all over again! You cook and prepare the table. Feed the children. Then you out everyone to bed. When they are all asleep, you can finally get a little rest!

Aren’t you getting tired of this?

Maybe you are… but you may not be ready to call it quits yet.

You are a proud working mother! You work your ass off every day so you can keep your title of “Super Mom”. You are not just some woman who stays at home sitting in front of the TV all day and going out shopping with your husband’s earnings on payday.

Oooops… is that you? Sorry, I do not mean it. It is just sooo true; I cannot help but say it!

You know; whatever you do in your little exciting life, guess what. NOBODY GIVES A CRAP! Believe me! As long as you are taking care of yourself, your children, your family and maybe some estranged cats in the neighborhood, you are already SUPER in whatever you choose to be!

I think all of us have different life circumstances, but I am going to narrow those down and talk about just the moms who choose to be working moms.

Here is a fat big list of reasons why some mothers refused to be stay at home moms. How many of these can you relate to?

1.      Work Provides and Identity Beyond “Mom”

You could be the CEO or the Marketing Manager. You are the businessperson. Are you a teacher? Maybe an attorney? You are certainly not just Mrs. Nobody, wife of somebody and mother of three. Make sense?

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding jobs, but let us face it, it can be extremely overwhelming if it is our only one. Working mothers are able to create an alternative identity separate from being just “Mom”. After all, parenthood is filled with menial, repetitive tasks.

You help the kids get dress, and do their laundry. You go grocery shopping, prepare the food, feed the kids, clean all of the dishes and then, they are suddenly hungry again! It can feel endless.

At work, there are also many mundane chores, but you also have the chance to work on tasks with a start and a finish, something you can point to with pride and say, “I did that!” You will get a pat on the back from your co-worker or your boss, because you want to feel like you have accomplished something for a brief moment in time.

Every time I accomplish something great at work, I too get a compliment from my superiors and co-workers, meaning that I will be smiling all day as I talk to my husband.

2.      Being a Working Mother Enables You to be a Strong Role Model for Your Children

As a mother of four; three girls, one boy, I am keenly aware that my life choices will my children’s first model of success when they are all grown up and venture out into the world. They may make different choices, but their point of comparison will be the decisions I made about my career and family.

While I hope they understand that family is my top priority, I also like that they get to see me having a professional life that is rewarding and important. It is good for mothers to have a focus other than their own children, they need the room to make mistakes and learn from them without mom always at their side attending to their every need and listening to their endless whines.

I have read that children of working mothers become practical and more intellectual. They can make wise decisions themselves and become independent, confident and more active in their work.

I remember a conversation with my daughter’s classmate mother in music class. She’s a retired high school teacher and now a stay-at-home-mom, so I asked her when she calls it a day, she said; “When I am done sharpening their pencils.”

Interesting.

 

3.      Working Mothers Earn a Pay Check

I am happiest when its payday. I know the money will help feed the children and provide for my family. For some working mothers, the paycheck also provides some for the extras in life, where it is an extra dinner out, a nice vacation or some new extracurricular activities for the kids. Even those in the most loving marriages’ have recognized that earning money puts them on equal footing with their husbands –

Are you still following me here?

 

4.      Working Moms are Respected More by Society

Like it or not, our society runs on money and recognizes its accumulations as proof of accomplishment.

Have you ever bumped into an old friend at the mall? I bet that conversation started something like “Hi! How are you! Where do you work now?”

The moment you admit that you are a stay-at-home-mom you will suddenly feel a moment of awkwardness and realize, it is your turn to ask the question.

She replies, “Oh, I’m great! I’m a VP for Marketing at XYZ Huge Fantastic Company!”

It is not as if she was trying to brag either, she was just answering your question, but for that one short moment, did you feel a little less about yourself?

 

5.      Working Moms are Happy Moms

Recent studies found that non-working women with children at home have been experiencing more worry, sadness, stress and anger than moms who work.

I think the number one reason for this and the most obvious reason too, is that working moms get time away from their children.

If you have ever heard the idiomatic expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? Since working mothers get to spend extra time away from their kids, in turn, both parties will learn to miss and appreciate each other’s company more. You will not experience this when you are always at home, cooking, doing laundry and cleaning up after playtime messes.

Work helps to create a positive emotion for mothers. Working moms are able to interact with supportive grown-ups and that is a great thing for their growth and mental health.

6.      Working Moms gain advantages to help Raise Confident and Strong Daughter

I did a lot of digging around on this topic, and here is what I found.

Daughters of working mothers tend to be more self-confident and see their mothers as the smarter parent, a University researcher say,

Traditionally, young children look at mothers as the person to run to for emotional comfort and their fathers as the role model for a strong disciplinary figure,

said Belen Mills, an associate professor of early childhood education at Florida State University.

But with more mothers working outside the home, the perception is changing. It makes the daughters in this situation feel, if my mother can do it, I can do it too. It motivates them to do something with their lives in a positive way.

The boys still tend to exhibit the same responses as usually whereas they see the father as the smarter parent, Mills said. However, the mother with jobs outside the home, also spent more time playing with their daughters and gave them more treats than did mothers who stayed at home, and the daughters more often would go to their mothers for protections,” Mills said.

Mills added

We think it’s because the daughters of working mothers see their mothers as strong and capable; able to take charge of any situation.

So, do any of these reasons above raise your brow?

Let’s talk about it. Share your comments below. There are no right or wrong comments ladies! :)

 

xoxo,

Joy

3 Popular Excuses Why You are Still Jobless

The truth is, like everyone else I have been jobless too. I was jobless for about two consecutive years when I was pregnant with my third child.  Like you, I have made gazillion excuses for myself, until finally, I was struck by lightning and I jumped up onto my feet and really began to look for a job.

Excuses

I still feel incredibly grateful that even though I made excuse after excuse, it never took me as long as ten or even twenty years to begin looking for work again. I do however, know a handful of people who did just that, who cannot stop making excuses for getting a real and rewarding job or career. These people often stay at home, reciting their frustrations of being at home with the kids, complaining about how much they wish they could go back to work and then doing nothing about it.

I’ve laid down some of the most common excuses that even I myself have used in the past, and still use once in a while (full disclosure). Let us see if you can relate to any of these:

1.  I’ll look for a job when the time is right.

Come on… when does the time ever feel “right”?

There will always be rainy days where you do not feel like going out to look for a job. There will be a broken phone that means you cannot ring your prospective employers. There will always be some man or woman in your life that annoys every hair on your body, keeping you from doing what you want. There is always this and that, he, and her, which will ‘prevent’ you from reaching the ‘perfect time’ you desire.

Of course, I won’t be the first or the last person to tell you that there is never going to be a right time. Have you noticed how you say the word tomorrow whenever you missed the goal for today? Take it from a friend of mine.

 Ah, I missed sending my resume to XYZ company, oh look at the time, it’s already late, I’ll just send it tomorrow.

Suddenly tomorrow comes around and the excuse is the same.

I’m not really in the mood, maybe tomorrow.

I fought with my mother last night and it was a bad night, I’m not really feeling like applying for work today.

I missed a few key details in my resume, I need more time to think this through, I’ll just send it tomorrow instead.

My friend has just turned 40 years old last month, still stuck with the same goal every day.

I emailed her this quote on her birthday that reads:

Tomorrow can only be found in the calendar of the fool. ~ Og Mandino

She has not spoken to me since.

 

2.  I may fail the interview or test.

Yea, you might. You may even fail it two or three times, which honestly, IS OKAY. Consider that your failures are just a practice and the more that you practice the better you will become.

You can also look at it this way…

Failures are just stepping-stones to success. No matter how the interview or test turns out, it will always end up the way it needs to be. Either you will succeed, or you will learn something from the experience. You should value both opportunities as a Win-Win experience. The biggest mistake you can make is to do nothing because you are too scared to make mistakes.

I am a big fan of this quote from Nietzsche:

What does not kill you makes you stronger.

 

3.  Who will take care of my children, they’re still very small… I’m afraid of getting a nanny.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

If before you used to help your kids get ready for school, make them breakfast and everything.  When you finally decide to get a job, your time at the office may require you to delegate someone else to take care of your home tasks, maybe a maid.  This can change everything around the house since you are not always there to take care of your usual household chores and actively attend to your children’s need.

This is out of your comfort zone.

No one likes to move beyond his or her comfort zone, but that’s really where the magic happens. It’s where we can grow, learn, and develop in a way that expands our horizons beyond what we thought was possible.

Kung gusto may paraan kung ayaw may dahilan.

Does it ring a bell?

Think things through.  Balance the pros and cons.  Expand your horizon.  Be brave.  Challenge yourself.  Don’t be complacent.  Become the person who you want to be. Just do it! Now!

Goodluck!

 

xoxo,

Joy

 

 

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